Ernest: Resupply of forces to Paschendale, for improved numbers on Canadian banks and farm crop share.
Jake: Creation of "Nixon" legend, using alternating recipes; "pie", separate from "tart"; "pizza".
Jiggy: Abduction of Ritchie Valens by Dr. Who, a gremlin from another dimension.
Ray: The sponsorship to needy black migrants, to marry into medal wearing families; Iron Cross, "Black Panthers".
Eddie: Creation of the right wrist watch style, for narco-traffickers.
Chip: Legalizing Keno, and expanding it to gas stations.
Ted: Deliberately frauding himself for dozens of murders, admitting it to police in prison, then expecting to beat a televised trial.
Diane: Kidnapping a Colombian boy from an Amsterdam flight, then dumping him in India as retarded; "The Jew", "Abraham".
Mike: Protecting "Whitey" Bulger, to end the weightlifting requirement at Waterford; Camp Perry.
Steve: Aligning with Tubman, Wolfman, and Brady (Wayne), to frame Charles Manson for murder; actually Nixon's orders, when stoned from Hunter S. Thompson's contact high.
Ellen: Writing the family into serial killers, in graphic novels, over and over.
Laura: Killing her husband, Sam Kinnison, with Motley Crue video appearances.
Jenna: Locking up a law professor's son, for "twenty three hour lockdown"; one 24 hour period of sexual assault.
Dave: Being forced to recall an order from Barack Obama to join the Mossad; unable to have gay sex, despite online MUCK registration otherwise; to cover for prostitutes arrested after sex.
Jack: Qualifying for the CIA, and joining the FBI, after placing little brother in MI-6.
Charles: Spying on George Soros, his boss, by inverting Google and Microsoft, so federal mail is hacked out of password.
